The Untold Story of How Christmas Songs Ruined My Childhood12:27 AM
I have never been a great fan of Santa Claus, even if during my childhood years I was being led to believe by several adults that this nice fat man with a beard apparently gives out gifts to children who behaved and were nice throughout the year. I didn't really buy this so I made trouble everywhere I went, without the thought of landing in Santa's naughty list crossing my mind.
I honestly didn't care about all this Santa crap, nor did I believe he was real. And I think I owe it to several Christmas songs for ruining the image of Santa and my childhood at that.
Come on, I wish I were a little more innocent that I had believed in Santa or in something that magical, even. But thanks to these Christmas songs I've listened to as a kid, I've gotten quite suspicious. Though I didn't really understand what they truly meant when I was a kid, I still felt a bit peeved while listening to them. It just gave me this feeling of distrust. It wasn't even just about Santa anymore, because plenty of these supposedly festive songs just gave me this sinking feeling inside.
Now that I'm older, I took the liberty to research the lyrics and make my own analysis.
And boy, I wish I hadn't.
1. Santa Baby
I first heard Madonna's version of this and I didn't quite understand the lyrics as a child but it surely disturbed me. When I got older, I realized that the song was about this woman flirting with Santa and asking him to sleep with her and give her cars, money, a yacht, and other fancy stuff. Not sure if said woman is a prostitute, but the thought of an old nice man who's usually likened to a grandfather figure sleeping with this younger woman is certainly not that nice of an image. Believe me.
I also don't know if I have a dirty mind or these lyrics really are euphemisms for something else a bit more sensual:
"Hurry down the chimney tonight" "Come and trim my Christmas tree"
2. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
So the song is about a kid sneaking out of bed in the middle of the night and catching his mother kissing Santa Claus. Though it isn't explicitly said in the lyrics, a lot of people say it's the kid's father who dresses up as Santa Claus. We're not even sure about that, so it could be just any random guy and it means the mom is cheating on the dad. If it's really Santa Claus, then it's pretty disturbing too, given that Santa Claus is like this really old man (pedo much). And if it really is the dad, isn't it already disturbing for a child to walk in on his parents making out or having sex but to see them have role plays? God, that's even worse.
3. Last Christmas
This is one of the more popular Christmas songs and it's been used several times during our Christmas programs and plays back when I was in highschool. It's a pretty sad song for Christmas though. It's about this person who got fooled by her lover. She gave her heart to him and "the very next day he gave it away." What saddens me even more is how:
"Now I know what a fool I've been.But if you kissed me nowI know you'd fool me again."
Really? Have you never heard of "fool me once shame on you but fool me twice shame on me"???
I don't like this song, it just doesn't seem very festive.
4. Baby It's Cold Outside
Okay, this one I don't like because it's obviously about date rape.
I really can't stay - Baby it's cold outsideI've got to go away - Baby it's cold outside
So the woman is at the man's house and she wants to leave but the man uses the weather as an excuse to not let her leave.
Say, what's in this drink? - No cabs to be had out there
Obviously there's something in her drink - probably something to drug her into sleeping with him.
I ought to say no, no, no
The man asks the woman to stay and she says no. He is trying to get her in bed by using the weather as an excuse, even if she says no.
Apparently no doesn't really mean no.
Especially if it's Christmas.
5. Santa Claus Is Coming to Town
Do I need to say more about this song?
Just this one line already gives me the creeps:
"He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake.."
Santa, you sound more of a serial killer stalker instead of a nice generous old man who gives out gifts to children.
I hope there are better explanations to these songs, because really, I'd like to get my childhood back.
Happy Holidays, everyone!
Photo credit: google