My Life as a Jonas Brothers Fan

8:10 PM

It took me 2 long contemplative days  to convince myself to write this post. It won't be easy to get out what I feel about things or to talk about how my life has been being a fan of the Jonas Brothers. But I do believe that writing can do several wonders - including understanding the most complex feelings within myself.

I first found out about the Jonas Brothers in 2007, when I heard their song When You Look Me in the Eyes on the radio. The song was so emotional and heartfelt for me. I was only 12 years old but it made me feel everything. I bought their album, researched everything I could about them and fangirled over them with my best friend to whom I introduced them to. I became known in school as that Jonas fangirl; and to be honest it wasn't always a good thing. People thought the Jonas Brothers was a joke; they thought I was a joke for being a fan. They found my love for the Jonas Brothers as something ridiculous and trivial, but I didn't care at all. 

When the Jonas Brothers joined Disney, I thought that that was the most awesome thing ever. Joining Disney meant more leverage - more movies, tv shows, guestings and more. I wasn't that ignorant to not know what immense power Disney had. It also meant the Jonas Brothers got to interact with other stars I liked - Miley Cyrus, Demi lovato, etc. 

As expected, the Jonas Brothers exploded into superstardom because of Disney. Number one albums, sold out concerts, 3d movies, tv shows - you name it. I was so happy for what they were achieving, and they seemed to look happy too. In fact, all the Disney kids seemed so happy to me. They always seemed to be so close and so happy with what they were doing. I always found myself admiring these people, wishing I could be like them. And now it turns out they were all scarred.

But that's a different story.

The Jonas Brothers also became known for their wholesome good boy image. They didn't drink, smoke, do drugs or even have any tattoos. They even kept promise rings - a vow to keep their virginity until they got married. I was young back then and always thought it was the right thing for them to do, and admired them for keeping up such a nice image. I even found myself shunning other Disney celebrities like Vanessa Hudgens and Miley Cyrus when their 'scandals' surfaced.

Years passed and I got older. As I got older, reality crept in. The Jonas Brothers grew older with me. Their sitcom on Disney got cancelled. They stopped making Camp Rock movies. They took a break after their last album and then went on to make individual music. But I kept on, waited like any other loyal fan would, until new music would come. Until they would make a comeback.

I slowly slipped away as reality took me in. I finished highschool. I started college. Suddenly there were so many things I was preoccupied with that the Jonas Brothers was the last thing on my list. I was miles away from them. I was about to give up on them altogether.

Until they announced a world tour. And Manila was one of the destinations. I knew I couldn't pass up this opportunity. Because finally, after years of silence, they were making a comeback! And a world tour at that. I was excited, eager to see them live and experience their music even for just one night.

And I did. To this day I won't ever forget October 19, 2012. It is one of the best nights of my life ever and I won't trade it for anything else. Things were finally happening.

But suddenly things slowed down again. Even After releasing 2 singles (Pom Poms and First Time) nothing was happening. Everyone else was making comebacks - Britney, Miley, Demi etc. This should've been the time for them to keep promoting their work. To preview it to us. To tease us. To announce the release date of the new album. But still months passed, and nothing.

Until about more than a month ago, news came that the Jonas Brothers was canceling their tour. I was devastated, even if they weren't coming back to Manila again. I was devastated because rumors started to circulate that things weren't okay in their camp.

And then one day, they just broke up and disbanded.

It was horrible. I never thought this would be one of the options or the actual solution to make things right. I was just devastated to hear them speak about it, as if it were the right thing to do about their own internal problems. Quitting because you couldn't fix your issues? Is that really the solution? How could you do this to your fans? Make us wait for 3 years for nothing? How dare you do this to us!

I shut down any feelings about this matter for a month. And focused on other things. I didn't even listen to their new unreleased songs which they had given to the fans as a gift. I didn't want to associate myself with anything with the Jonas Brothers because they were long gone, and they were nothing now.

Joe Jonas wrote an essay that was released 2 days ago, about his life as a Jonas Brother. It's been more than a month since they broke up, and in this essay he reveals everything that has happened and what has lead to their decision. People were shocked, people were angry, there were negative reactions about his revelations, but I wasn't part of this crowd. Instead, I found myself coming back to them. I found myself realizing what drew me to them in the first place. I found myself in deep respect for these boys more than ever. I found admiration in their choice to speak the truth and to not spin lies in their favor. 

And quickly I found them again. I listened to their new songs and the experience was amazing. I felt so alive and I just felt... Everything. I felt the goosebumps in my skin. I felt my body go into rhythm with the music. I felt my eyes closing in awe.  In that moment, I felt so real and alive. 

Back when I was just 12 years old, I thought I liked the Jonas brothers because 
a. They were cute 
b. They were funny 
c. They had a good wholesome image and 
d. Their music was fun.

But now fast forward to 6 years later, it has dawned on me that those are not the reasons why the Jonas Brothers has crept into my heart since day 1 and has stayed there up till now.

I didn't like the Jonas Brothers because of how hot they were and how wholesome and nice they were. I didn't like them because of their promise rings and their swear to keep their virginity back then. I didn't like them because of their cute hair.  I didn't like them because they didn't drink or smoke or do drugs. Like other fans, I was blinded by how Disney packaged them into - a group of nice and talented brothers who are perceived to be PERFECT. But I am old enough now to understand and see through it. 

The thing is, I love the Jonas Brothers because they're real. They're so fucking real, it speaks through the lyrics in their music. It's the music that has spoken to me from the beginning and until today. Amidst self destructive and hopeless moments in my life, it was the Jonas Brothers that called out to me. Gave me hope and inspired me to continue to hold on.

When it falls apart/And you're feeling lost/All your hope is gone/don’t forget to hold on, hold on

Because the Jonas Brothers made me feel something. Every song in their album, from It's About Time to Jonas Brothers to A Little Bit Longer to Lines Vines and Trying Times - every single song meant a lot to me. There are songs I could still remember the lyrics to until now even if it's been years since I've last listened to them. The Jonas Brothers has changed my life. The band has made me closer to my best friend, closer to the strangers on the internet because we are united by one common thing - music. 

And for that, I can't be any more thankful for Nick, Joe and Kevin. I admire them for expressing their emotions and feelings and translating them into something beautiful through music. I admire them when I realize how much they have stayed true to themselves, even if there had been struggles along the way. I admire them when I think of how much scars they have had throughout these years, yet they haven't given up. I admire them for the hope they have given me to become real even with all my imperfections.

And I don't judge them for anything that they've gone through. Instead I admire and respect them for how they have dealt with everything.

Though I am sad that the Jonas Brothers has broken up, I do know now that it was the right thing to do, and I myself must become mature and accept this. I will always have their songs to get me through anything in life even if they may be just old songs on repeat.

I will always be a proud Jonas Brothers fan who was there from the beginning and stuck with them until the end.

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2015 Reading Challenge

2015 Reading Challenge
Kimi has read 3 books toward her goal of 100 books.