Soupy Sundays: Nice Guy Syndrome (1)

10:43 PM

Soupy Sundays is a weekly feature at Geeky Chiquitas, where we write discussion posts about our thoughts, feelings and opinions about certain topics.

We decided to create a weekly feature! YAY! The idea came to mind when we realized how much feelings we had about things, and it was just impossible to keep them bottled inside.

So for the first topic of Soupy Sundays, we have decided to write about the Nice Guy Syndrome.

The Nice Guy Syndrome is a mental condition in which a heterosexual male feels personally victimized by women who don't want to date him, and also perpetuates the belief that women are either evil and/or stupid for choosing "jerks" for their boyfriends. Said "nice guy" feels as if you are obligated to date him just because he is a good listener or opens the door for you, or is basically the perfect 'gentleman' (whatever that even is).


Nice Guy: I like you.
Girl: I don't like you back.
Nice Guy: Why not? But I'm a nice guy!

He will say either one of these things and it's better to just completely avoid these kind of people.


This is one of the most common things nice guys say to make you feel guilty for not choosing them or
even agreeing to date them. Guess what? There's a thing called friendship and just because we are friends and you like me does NOT obligate me to like you back. Friendship does not equal to relationship and you must be delusional to even think that. In fact when "nice guys" start to like you sometimes friendships get destroyed because they accuse you of friendzoning them when in the first place you actually did start out as friends and now he feels as if you owe him a chance at a relationship. Sure, he might have given you advice, helped you with homework, listened to your problems or let you borrow his pencil, but you owe him nothing. The moment nice guy accuses you of leading him on or citing these instances to make you feel bad for rejecting him, GUESS WHAT NICE GUY IS NOT ACTUALLY NICE.


Have you ever been called cruel or heartless? Nice guy uses this as an excuse for their rejection. They say that there's nothing wrong with him - it's you who's messed up, stupid, or have problems or issues for not liking him back. Nice Guy puts the blame on you, for something you have nothing to do with at all. He thinks that he's perfectly perfect, that if you're not interested in him, you're stupid and have no standards. You are cruel or heartless for not being interested in him. If he asks you out, it's basically impossible for him to accept a 'no' or take a hint that you're not at all interested. Instead, he concludes that you are either, playing hard to get, or are just a cruel, heartless bitch.


Nice Guy starts to wonder why you're with the guy that you're dating. He can't think of anything that the guy has that nice guy doesn't. They therefore conclude that the guy you are dating is an asshole and that you like to be treated like shit. Nice Guy then thinks that everything would be so much better if you would just date him. First of all, Nice Guy shouldn't conclude that the guy the you are dating is an asshole just because you chose him. He doesn't know everything so he has no right to judge. Second, no one likes to be treated like shit. It's stupid that nice guy would even think that! And lastly, the only reason that Nice Guy thinks the guy you're dating is an asshole is because he thinks that the guy stole you from him. You are not his property. You NEVER showed interest in him in the first place, and you owe him absolutely NOTHING.

GUESS WHAT? You already are!

If you have said any of these things after getting rejected by a girl, SHUT UP! If you are pushing your niceness as a valid reason why anyone is obligated to like you back, then I'm sorry but you will find yourself in the 'friendzone' or whatever you call it for the rest of your life. Please do not confuse niceness for greatness, smartness, attractiveness or even kindness! Niceness is not a redeeming quality and it will not get you a girlfriend. And if you're still whining about how nice guys always finish last and that women have such bad taste in men, then take the hint: You are not a nice guy, but are actually a misogynistic jerk.

And don't even think about writing us off as misandrists or radical feminists.

Go find a hobby, you.


What do you think about "Nice Guys"? If you'd like to join the discussion, grab the banner and link your blog posts on the comments below! :)

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  1. Haha, this is so accurate! I know a lot of "nice guys".

    P.S. You should listen to the song 'Nice guys' by Chester See!

    P.P.S. You've been tagged by me to do the A to Z Bookish Survey! :)


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Kimi has read 3 books toward her goal of 100 books.