A/N: Just to be clear, I'm not dead. I'm not even thinking about dying. I just thought that this would be an interesting topic. So, don't freak out guys. Also, I hope you don't get offended by anything since I tried to make this as light as possible. Like, you know, a feather.
I never really think I'll die. Hopefully, I have died old and rich with lots to leave behind for an awesome family. I also hope that I have died without having any enemies who will probably go to my funeral and laugh to themselves. If you see someone laughing at my funeral, that person is probably crazy and should be avoided at all costs. Anyway, here's how I want my funeral to be. I want my whole family there. And I mean the whole family. Including, like, the spirits of my ancestors or something. If they're already in Heaven though, then, no worries, I'll hopefully see those spirits soon anyway. I also want to be dressed up in whatever was my favorite or nicest outfit at the time but make sure that the outfit is comfortable because I don't want my earthly body suffering in uncomfortable clothing. I also want someone to stand up and say something super nice about me so that the enemy who will be laughing to himself/herself will feel really guilty. As you can probably already tell, I'm not good with writing sad, heart-wrenching stuff that will make you cry rivers of tears but I'll try my best.
I had this stuffed toy that I really loved. It was pretty ugly but I couldn't sleep without it. Every night, I would just cuddle with it and know that when woke up in the morning, it would probably be under the bed or strewn across the bed randomly. I took it everywhere with me. To sleep, to the mall, to the sleepovers in my cousins' house, on road trips, on airplanes, even to other countries. I never took it to school though because the world has not deemed that socially acceptable. Some people didn't understand why I couldn't let that thing go. I didn't really understand it myself. What was so special about this toy that I had to take it everywhere? Now, I think I have a pretty good guess. I think that for me, this thing holds a treasure trove of memories. Like the time when I was really, really sick but I still wouldn't let anyone take it away from me until I suddenly puked on it and got so disgusted that I finally agreed to let the maid wash it. Or when I took it to the mall and had a minor breakdown when I realized that I had left it at the shoe store. Or when I was in Hong Kong and got really, really sick (if you haven't noticed, I get sick a lot) and I was scared that the people in the airport- you know, the official looking people that are pretty intimidating to a seven-year-old- would think that I was on drugs or something (cuz, you know, what seven-year-old doesn't take drugs). Anyway, getting back on topic, what I was trying to say is that, that little thing, like so many of the little things in this world, mean so much more to the right person. To others, it's just an ugly purple stuffed toy. To me, it's the times when I got sick. It's the times when I couldn't fathom how math worked (I still cannot fathom how math works but that's a different story). What I'm trying to say is that everything I had in this world is precious to me in some way. Everything that I have come in contact with here has a value to me. Except that gum under one of the tables in the food court. Whoever put it there, I have zero respect for you.
Now, I wanna talk about my family. You guys are just amazing in every way. Dad isn't perfect but he's a good dad. He wants the best for us and believe that we deserve only that. He's funny (usually) has a good sense of humor. He's the best that I could wish for and I wouldn't trade him for anything. Mom is a bit paranoid but she just wants to keep us safe. She's cool and is really good at art. She has a great sense of fashion and gives the best hugs in the world. My sister, Beryl, is an annoying pain in my butt. Even so, she is the easiest person to talk to in my whole family. We annoy each other to the point that one would like to punch the other in the face but we're too lazy to get off the couch and reach over to punch the other. She may be moody and weird and has way too many friends, that, in my opinion, she is too nice to, but she's a great partner in crime. She understands the weird things I say. Has the same taste in music and clothes as I do and is the best person that you could possibly choose to sing at the top of your lungs and dance awkwardly with. My cousins and uncles and aunts and grandparents and anyone else that I'm missing are included in this awesome list of people. I love you guys.
To my school. Well, I'm not sure I wanna talk to you guys. Some of you are pretty awesome people and some of you are, well, like the rest of humanity. I do okay in school. I guess. I have a hard time focusing on the lesson though. Like, I'm trying to concentrate on bases and salts and the pH scale but suddenly, I'm in Audrey World where everything is soft and there is nothing to trip on. This probably perfectly describes an insane asylum but I can assure you, I'm not crazy. But even though I hated 99.9% of my time in school, I would never have all the good experiences and embarrassing events that formed me into who I am today, which, if you're actually reading this when I'm dead then who I am today would be dead but you get my point. I'm even thankful that school exists. You know what they say, what better way is there to make friends than bonding over a common enemy aka school. But, seriously, I am thankful, though if anyone accuses me of this, I will deny it at all costs.
I guess all I wanted to say is that I'm thankful for everything that has happened. I don't regret anything. The good, the bad, the boring. None of it.
I never really think I'll die. Hopefully, I have died old and rich with lots to leave behind for an awesome family. I also hope that I have died without having any enemies who will probably go to my funeral and laugh to themselves. If you see someone laughing at my funeral, that person is probably crazy and should be avoided at all costs. Anyway, here's how I want my funeral to be. I want my whole family there. And I mean the whole family. Including, like, the spirits of my ancestors or something. If they're already in Heaven though, then, no worries, I'll hopefully see those spirits soon anyway. I also want to be dressed up in whatever was my favorite or nicest outfit at the time but make sure that the outfit is comfortable because I don't want my earthly body suffering in uncomfortable clothing. I also want someone to stand up and say something super nice about me so that the enemy who will be laughing to himself/herself will feel really guilty. As you can probably already tell, I'm not good with writing sad, heart-wrenching stuff that will make you cry rivers of tears but I'll try my best.
I had this stuffed toy that I really loved. It was pretty ugly but I couldn't sleep without it. Every night, I would just cuddle with it and know that when woke up in the morning, it would probably be under the bed or strewn across the bed randomly. I took it everywhere with me. To sleep, to the mall, to the sleepovers in my cousins' house, on road trips, on airplanes, even to other countries. I never took it to school though because the world has not deemed that socially acceptable. Some people didn't understand why I couldn't let that thing go. I didn't really understand it myself. What was so special about this toy that I had to take it everywhere? Now, I think I have a pretty good guess. I think that for me, this thing holds a treasure trove of memories. Like the time when I was really, really sick but I still wouldn't let anyone take it away from me until I suddenly puked on it and got so disgusted that I finally agreed to let the maid wash it. Or when I took it to the mall and had a minor breakdown when I realized that I had left it at the shoe store. Or when I was in Hong Kong and got really, really sick (if you haven't noticed, I get sick a lot) and I was scared that the people in the airport- you know, the official looking people that are pretty intimidating to a seven-year-old- would think that I was on drugs or something (cuz, you know, what seven-year-old doesn't take drugs). Anyway, getting back on topic, what I was trying to say is that, that little thing, like so many of the little things in this world, mean so much more to the right person. To others, it's just an ugly purple stuffed toy. To me, it's the times when I got sick. It's the times when I couldn't fathom how math worked (I still cannot fathom how math works but that's a different story). What I'm trying to say is that everything I had in this world is precious to me in some way. Everything that I have come in contact with here has a value to me. Except that gum under one of the tables in the food court. Whoever put it there, I have zero respect for you.
Now, I wanna talk about my family. You guys are just amazing in every way. Dad isn't perfect but he's a good dad. He wants the best for us and believe that we deserve only that. He's funny (usually) has a good sense of humor. He's the best that I could wish for and I wouldn't trade him for anything. Mom is a bit paranoid but she just wants to keep us safe. She's cool and is really good at art. She has a great sense of fashion and gives the best hugs in the world. My sister, Beryl, is an annoying pain in my butt. Even so, she is the easiest person to talk to in my whole family. We annoy each other to the point that one would like to punch the other in the face but we're too lazy to get off the couch and reach over to punch the other. She may be moody and weird and has way too many friends, that, in my opinion, she is too nice to, but she's a great partner in crime. She understands the weird things I say. Has the same taste in music and clothes as I do and is the best person that you could possibly choose to sing at the top of your lungs and dance awkwardly with. My cousins and uncles and aunts and grandparents and anyone else that I'm missing are included in this awesome list of people. I love you guys.
To my school. Well, I'm not sure I wanna talk to you guys. Some of you are pretty awesome people and some of you are, well, like the rest of humanity. I do okay in school. I guess. I have a hard time focusing on the lesson though. Like, I'm trying to concentrate on bases and salts and the pH scale but suddenly, I'm in Audrey World where everything is soft and there is nothing to trip on. This probably perfectly describes an insane asylum but I can assure you, I'm not crazy. But even though I hated 99.9% of my time in school, I would never have all the good experiences and embarrassing events that formed me into who I am today, which, if you're actually reading this when I'm dead then who I am today would be dead but you get my point. I'm even thankful that school exists. You know what they say, what better way is there to make friends than bonding over a common enemy aka school. But, seriously, I am thankful, though if anyone accuses me of this, I will deny it at all costs.
I guess all I wanted to say is that I'm thankful for everything that has happened. I don't regret anything. The good, the bad, the boring. None of it.
- 10:22 PM
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