Honestly, Dear Nobody is one of the most disturbing and triggering books I've ever read - that finishing it and having to write how I feel about it in this review is an incredible feat I have been avoiding for days. I definitely did not enjoy the book and I would never read it again nor do I want to relive it; but it is a book that I felt is so important and powerful that not finishing it would be my loss. 

What I loved about the book is how mature Mary rose's perspective on life is. I was vehemently impressed by the way she viewed things and the intricate pattern to her thoughts on her future, dreams and even that of death. It was absolutely difficult to go on with this book starting from page 1, most especially because it reminded me so much of myself - despite our differences in home life and of health. Mary Rose's plead to be accepted and be valued and be loved by people is something that reminds me of how I felt in my younger teenage years and that was why I identified with her so muchh despite our obvious differences. 

I think it is also important to note that Mary Rose who was a teenager in the 80's is not so different from teenagers in the 21st century. It pained me to see that this could've easily passed as a diary written by a teenager today, because the many experiences that Mary went through is not stranger to any of us. There were several important issues raised in this book, not just on health, abuse, alcohol, drugs but even feminist ones regarding double standards and yes, rape. It was heartbreaking to hear Mary voice out her feelings about society as a whole and how she felt for Geoff, hating him but also not being able to shake him off - because all of this was so, so true. It was depressing and very relatable to go into Mary's thoughts as she questioned the double standards that continue to persist in society and whatever gender constructs that exist. Mary's downward spiral with her health and how she dealt with being raped 2 times was gut wrenching to read as my heart went out to everyone who is or was sick and to all other girls who have been violated and hurt in the past and up to the present. 

Mary was undoubtedly one of the strongest and most brilliant women I've ever had the pleasure to know, een if it was just through her diaries. Her writing resonated into me and I will not forget about her. Mary Rose's writing was so angry, gritty raw and honest. It will be difficult to read and I would suggest a trigger warning, but nevertheless Dear Nobody was a worthy read that would stay with me for years to come.

This isn't just a book about sickness and abuse, it is a book about a teenager who is trying to face the realities of life, questioning society, and finding acceptance and love along the way. 

Giving this a 5 star rating because it is a diary and is too personal and honest that it deserves no less than that.

Title: Better Off Friends
Author: Elizabeth Eulberg
Publishing Date: February 25, 2014
Publisher: Point
Rating: 5/5 stars

I'm honestly still swooning and giddy all over. It's been 2 weeks since I've finished this awesomely cute and wonderful book, yet I can't get it out of my head at all. Everyone knows best friend romances is my favorite trope but I think Better Off Friends is the best one I've read out of everything. 

I can't find any coherence in writing this review as all I am capable of doing is fangirling over how beautiful and amazing this book is to me. It made me feel so many things - genuine happiness, sadness, shock, yearning, distraught, giddiness and so much more. There are some books that resonate with you long after you finish it, and Better Off Friends is clearly an example of such. There is not a single day that I haven't thought of the wonderful friendship and love between McCallan and Levi and how these two characters made me feel so warm all over just by being themselves. There was just so much depth, character and honesty to this story, that I felt was fantastically woven together. This is the kind of book that made me want to scream and flail my arms around in joy. This is the kind of book that made me want to give everyone I see a bear hug just for the heck of it! This is the kind of book that made me want to sing at the top of my lungs and cry, and cry, and cry some more because of the overflowing joy it made me feel.

The moment McCallan and Levi meet each other in the 7th grade, you just know that these two are meant for each other. The story takes you to how their relationship develops and deepens from a bunch of 12 year old noobs simply bonding over a favorite Tv show to freshmen kids having tons of inside jokes, to growing up and drifting apart, and to finally realizing how much they mean to each other. To describe this book as a feel-good story is a HUGE understatement. I've never felt happier about a book in my entire life, and gah this book was just perfect!

Told in alternating POVs, we get a glimpse of both Levi and McCallan's thoughts. Though dual POV is one of my pet peeves, it wasn't a problem with this book as both characters have such distinct voices, that I never got confused with who was talking at the moment. The funny and very sweet commentary by an older Levi and McCallan in between the chapters is absolutely wonderful as well, and I swooned and laughed and cried because it was... Just. beautiful. I actually never wanted it to end, because I loved being in their thoughts so much and these two people were just so genuine and real and likeable that I really didn't want to say goodbye to both of them. Elizabeth did a great job at developing both the characters, starting with headstrong McCallan who never backs down without a fight, but deep inside just misses her mom so much, and sweet Levi who only wants to fit in his new school. They both progress and mature throughout the story, as they overcome their struggles in life; and in the end though they remain true to themselves, they turn out to become well rounded and mature individuals.

What was glorious as well were their families, who composed a huge chunk of the story: Levi's mom who is a great parent not just to Levi but also McCallan, who had to grow up without one;  McCallan's dad who is an equally awesome parent what with planning surprise parties and all; and McCallan's uncle Adam who has a speech disability but has the biggest and kindest heart ever. It was such a good feeling meeting all these characters and I never wiped the smile off my face the whole time.

And now the last but not the least: Levi and McCallan's relationship.Their friendship is seriously the best thing ever. I never felt it was too slow or too fast. It was so well-paced that the timing just felt right at the end. We see first how they become best friends, how they start dating other people but still put the other first, how they drift apart, how they miss each other and up to that moment when Levi meets McCallan at the park by the swing and you just know - it's time.

Have you read Better Off Friends? What did you think? :)

Title: Amy and Roger's Epic Detour
Author: Morgan Matson
Publisher: Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers
Publishing Date: May 4 2010
Hardcover: 352 pages
Rating: 5/5 stars

I love road trip books and I think this one is my ultimate favorite. I had a smile on my face the whole time I read this book, and I couldn't put it down at all - not even to study for a quiz (I know, priorities haha). I've read a lot of bad YA contemporaries lately and I was a bit hesitant to pick this up. However, all the dashing reviews of this book from so many friends gave me the extra push to start it.

You see, I had a reading slump. I was looking for a book that would get me OUT of my reading slump, and so many people recommended this to me. My expectations of this book was that it would be cute but pretty much be just that. It turned out to be so much more and I was definitely impressed at the great work when it came to the plot pacing, the writing style and of course the character formation and development.

Amy is the protagonist of this story. Her life pretty much sucks - her father has just died from a car crash, her brother's in rehab, her mother decides they move from California to Connecticut and now she has to ride cross-country to join her mother in their new life. Accompanying her on this roadtrip is Roger, a childhood friend she hasn't seen in years, so naturally Amy is not at all thrilled, considering she had just spent the last 3 months shutting people out, even her best friend Julia. The book is told from the point of view of Amy, along with a bunch of scraps they gathered from the road - including post cards, pictures, receipts, napkins, playlists and so many other cool stuff.

The narrative is so well-written and the interludes between chapters were a great addition to the book. I usually don't like chapter in-betweeners, but the book would have been very different and incomplete without those cute nothings in between. This was a creative decision of the author which I really approve of, as without these the story would not have been the same. They bring bits of development into the story, and establishes the mood and theme of the setting. But what I commend the most about Amy and Roger is how well-crafted the characters are, all of them, even the people they meet on the road who only appeares for a few pages.

Amy has such a distinct voice, simply because she seems like a regular teenage girl. She isn't funny, witty, or crazy and definitely not a "not like other girls" type. But what makes her very likeable as a narrator and as the main character of the story is how realistically she is portrayed. Her problems are not overly dramatized, but also not totally ignored. Her reactions to situations and events in the book are pretty normal and very relatable, things I have done and would do as well if in the position.  The way she worries about spending 4 days with Roger a guy she barely knows is a worry that every other teenager out there gets. The way she freaks out over sharing the same bed with Roger and making sure to wear long sleeves just to cover herself up is something I would have done in the situation myself. I like how real Amy is portrayed and I just love how she finds herself thinking of Roger in a different way, but trying to ignore and forget it. Her growth as a person clearly shines in the book, in a way which I found refreshing and inspiring. The part where she finally builds the courage to start driving again was just phenomenal because she figures it out herself, and pushes herself without needing the help of Roger. Roger is also a fantastic character. He is not characterized to be one of those dreamy out of this world guys who seem to be so well-versed, but he is definitely real. He is described to be good looking, but there is much more to him than that. He has his own issues, and he and Amy both come to terms with these problems in their own terms. It is independent and strong willed characters like these that I like the most when reading books. Their romance is a bit slow-placed, but this I do not mind, as I am not a fan of whirlwind romances, and it makes the story more realistic. I love how there is no instant love, and that they develop from awkward strangers to close friends who bond over music and have inside jokes and then to two people who love and care deeply about each other. I also love how Amy is the one who kisses Roger first; it shows her growth as a person.

This is also the book with the best group of secondary characters ever. They don't exist as mere plot points or stopovers along the way. They all have their own personalities and contribute to the plot immensely. Bronwyn is such a cute and lovable character who gives Amy all her clothes to help her break out of her shell and become more confident. She might've been there just for a while but she certainly impacted the characters and the story in so many ways. Drew gives Roger the best advice "There sometimes isn't' much of a difference between a knight's quest and a fool's errand". This, I think, is the part where Roger finally realizes what he is doing with his life, and his own coming to terms with his problems. Leonard, the video game geek, is my favorite of them and I love his "Save Princess Amy!" bit, definitely aww-worthy. Lucien - how could I forget Lucien? He gives both Amy and Roger the push to come to terms with their own dark pasts and dilemmas, and is probably the one that helps them the most.

I can go on and on with this book forever. I adore this book SO much I just can't shut up about it. I love Amy and Roger's Ten Questions game, their roadtrip playlists, their Hillary and Edmund inside jokes, the places they visit like Graceland with the graffiti on the wall, the fastfood places they eat at, and all the mention of Elvis! Now I wanna go on an epic detour, and I'd love to visit all the places they went to in this book. Amy and Roger's Epic Detour is a wonderful book of self-discovery, young love,  and detours that change your life forever.

Title: Ask Again Later
Author: Liz Czukas
Publisher: Harper Teen
Publishing Date: March 11, 2014
Format: ARC
Rating: 1.5/5 stars

Ask Again Later is about a girl named Heart LaCoeur who has vowed to never date, as she does not want to turn out like her mother (who got pregnant at 18 and left her kids). Prom is coming up and Heart has already made plans with her No Prom-A Drama friends when two boys, Ryan, the theater geek and Troy, the jock who is her brother's best friend, ask her out to prom. Now Heart is torn between the two, and to solve her dilemma, flips a coin. Then the novel unfolds showing both scenarios, told in alternating chapters. 

Ask Again Later is a choose your own story type of book, a writing style which is not so original or clever but when executed well can turn out to be a fun and interesting read. 

Sadly, Ask Again Later is not that kind.

Remember when I posted the other day that Ask Again Later is one of my 2014 debut favorites? 

I take it back! I must have been half asleep when I wrote that because I really didn't like this book. 

I have since finished Ask Again Later and I don't feel good. Not at all. In fact this book will leave you offended and violated for all the worst reasons possible. And it can't go any further than that.

The name Heart LaCoeur basically means Heart heart, as LaCoeur is French for heart. It is obviously a very ridiculous name which even the main character herself complains about all throughout the book. This wouldn't be as problematic if the author had chosen the name simply at random; that would've been more forgivable. However, the name choice was obviously a conscious decision made by the author for no reason other than to establish Heart as one of those 'other girls'. Once again, the protagonist falls into the category of those girls who are considered unpopular, geeky, but apparently better than the rest of the social ecosystem - especially the popular kids consisting of the cheerleaders and jocks who seem to only care about their clothes and nail polish and drink and party for fun which are activities that are just SO SHALLOW for 'other girls' like Heart - just because they are 'different'. The name is also a plot device to create 'fluff' - an archetype/genre of overly cutesy gratuitous nonsense scenes that will make you automatically ship (or in my case, hold in puke) the couple involved in said scene. Chase, one of Heart's friends who's part of the No Prom-a Drama club thing, is the main love interest in this book (and this isn't even a spoiler because if this wasn't obvious to you at first then I don't know what's wrong with you) who calls Heart by other organ names like Pancreas, Lungs etc., in an attempt to be flirty and witty and cute and all - but sadly this isn't even funny, it's just cringe worthy. There is much to be said about the characters' names in this book, as Heart also opts to call Chase by the name Schroeder which doesn't even make sense to be honest. The banter between these two people involving their names is very annoying and cheesy and also shows how obvious that they like each other that there shouldn't have been any problem in the first place. 

The name isn't the only thing problematic about this book. The characters are even worse. Heart is an okay protagonist but there is absolutely nothing special about her. Her voice is not as distinct and she feels more like a mesh of different YA girl main characters taken from all sorts of books, with nothing that sets her apart from any of those people. She's got nothing on Mia from Princess Diaries or even Hazel from The Fault in Our Stars (both books that belong to the same genre). She doesn't even sound like a real person. Yet, Heart is the least of the problems regarding the characters of this book. Ryan is surprisingly gay (omg i am SO surprised) but is not a stereotype yet his presence in the book and his being gay was entirely superfluous except serving as some kind of PSA to the readers that you shouldn't assume that all gay people fit into stereotypes. There is so much mention of that between Ryan and Heart that it has become too preachy and condescending. Stereotypes exist for a reason and there is nothing wrong about being a stereotype until you become a caricature of that. In this case, Ryan becomes a caricature of a gay man who does not fit into a stereotype.

Troy spends the whole book pining for his ex-girlfriend Amy, in which it becomes obvious that he only asked out Heart to make his ex jealous. In the course of the book, he has only been sober for about 3 pages and spends the rest drunk and doing assholey things. Heart's brother Phil's friends are portrayed to be jocks and cheerleaders who discuss what Heart dismisses as the most trivial things - things that she is not used to talking about. They do not appear to be very smart, and you will start to question why they were dumbed down this much. Tara, Phil's girlfriend, exists as one of those "not like those other cheerleaders" kind of girls as she shows kindness to Heart, and is interested about other things other than nailpolish. Yet she drops the R-word and there does not seem to be any reason for such word to be uttered, unless the author wanted her to be relatable to other teenagers? Even so, it is still relatable even if she does not use such word, so in any case, that should've been just omitted. Tara stays with Phil even though it is plenty obvious that they have a very unhealthy relationship with one another, given the fact that Tara herself admits that Phil is an asshole most of the time - but she loves him and stays because he has a soft side and dreams of becoming a teacher? Really? A woman never exists to take care of her boyfriend, and there doesn't seem to be any redeeming qualities about Phil (but more on that later). Heart's friends are caricatures - caricatures of people who exist to be hipsters, losers, geeks, but there is nothing substantial about them and I don't see what is so great about them.

Now on to the most problematic thing I've ever read, EVER, because this just left me offended and disgusted.

The perpetuation of rape culture.

Two characters are involved in this act, and sadly they are supposed to be the good guys.

Phil, Heart's brother, is the most assholey person I've ever encountered in YA, and there is nothing about him that shows any sign of being a brother to Heart. Phil is described as Heart as her stupid brother who annoys her, but is also the sweet guy who plays Jeopardy with her. Sounds like the typical big brother. Yet, the fact that Phil forces Heart to go out with his best friend knowing he is unstable from his break up shows how bad a big brother Phil is. Big brothers are supposed to be protective, caring, sometimes annoying, but still ultimately good, at least to their little sisters. But there is one scene where Phil's douchebagness becomes clearest of all. In one scene, a drunken Troy forcibly kisses Heart, to which her first reaction would be to go and tell her brother:

Heart: Phil, I can't do this anymore. Troy just kissed me. I want to go home.
Phil: He did? (laughs) That's awesome!
Heart: It was not awesome! In what world is that awesome?
Phil: In the world where it means he's getting over Amy.

What kind of brother cares more about his best friend's moving on process rather than oh, his little sister being sexually assaulted by said best friend?

Phil: You are completely overreacting. It was just a kiss.
Heart: But I didn't want him to do it.
Phil: Don't be such a baby.
Heart: I'm not being a baby! I'm saying I want to go home.
Phil: Stop freaking out. You're going to ruin prom.

BANGS HEAD.

Phil: Heart. It was a kiss. Deal.
Heart: Don't you even care what I want? I'm your sister.
Phil: Yeah, and Troy's my friend. He wouldn't hurt anyone. He probably thought you wanted it.

he probably thought you wanted it !!!!!

When has it ever been acceptable to kiss someone because "you thought the person wanted it"? Heart clearly did not want Troy to kiss her; she has expressed it plenty of times! This is sexual assault, and how Phil reacts is just so unreal. I expected there to be a fight, some punching, a black eye here or there, or even a few broken bones. That would've been way better than this.

There are plenty of other instances where we witness how much of an asshole Phil is, but all his offenses are quickly erased, after what? When Tara drags Phil to say sorry to Heart for being such an asshole, suddenly it is all okay. Tara excuses Phil's assholeness as him being drunk, and they bond over their love for Phil because apparently there is a good side to him and he wants to be a teacher. A god forsaken teacher. Because having an ambition and being good at trivia automatically makes you a good person. Wow. There is nothing wrong with having an offensive character, but there is something wrong with making that character so unnaturally mean and unrealistic, and for that character be given the Get Out of Jail free card by simply existing.

Lastly, we must discuss Schroeder and how he adds up to this problem (more on this below). He is one of Heart's really close guy friends and it is apparent that he likes her from page 1. He calls her by weird organ nicknames and likes teasing her, sure indications of his infatuation. Theoretically he is supposed to be the good guy who cares a lot about Heart and has her best interests. But actually, Schroeder is a Nice Guy. (See our discussion post about this here)

We only see him as a jealous prick all throughout the book who wallows in the corner cursing Ryan and Troy and even Heart because she 'abandoned him'. He is conflicting, jumping from being so charming and nice to Heart (when he dances with her) then all suddenly mad and cold to her by ignoring her (when he refuses to take any pictures with her). He gets mad when Heart gives Ryan a friendly kiss, mad when Heart goes to the party at what's-his-name's house who apparently bullied him in middle school and just generally mad because Heart ditched him - all of which are NONE of his business. Though it is obvious to everyone that Schroeder likes Heart, he never actually tells her, at least not until Heart confronts him about it. He is obviously a Nice Guy, the type of guy who calls girls heartless just because they don't show interest in them - in this case he doesn't even get rejected because he never even tells her he likes her and just assumes that she knows, and therefore Heart should not go out with anyone else instead of him because that would hurt his feelings and would make her a psycho bitch. yayyy!

When Heart convinces Schroeder that there is nothing between her and Ryan this is what he says:

Schroeder: You just better hope you're right, cause if you're not...
Heart: Then what?
Schroeder: I guess that would make you kind of heartless, wouldn't it?

Way to call a girl heartless. When a guy likes a girl and the girl doesn't like him back, then the girl is automatically heartless. Wow. As if girls are not entitled to their own feelings. It's like you owe it to them to like them and there's automatically something evil and wrong with you if you don't because they are just. So. Nice!11 omg

What makes Schroeder/Chase irredeemable as not just a love interest but as a character however, is not his Nice Guy-ness but because he is also in fact like Phil, someone who encourages rape culture. Let's go back to the scene after Heart gets kissed by Troy.

When she talks to her brother and ends up not being comforted at all, this is the way Schroeder cheers her up:

Schroeder: Do you know what it takes for a guy to actually try to kiss a girl?Heart: Believe me, that was totally effortless on his part. No thought involved.Schroeder: You don’t know that.Heart: I was there.Schroeder: I’m just saying, it’s not that easy. You’re really putting yourself out there as the guy.Heart: Do you go around kissing a lot of girls you’re not sure want to be kissed? I think that’s called first-degree sexual assault.Schroeder: Believe me, it’s hard to tell with some girls.

This moment just made my jaw drop, not even in a good way. When the girl you like comes to you after being sexually assaulted by a pig, what must you do? To Schroeder, the right thing apparently is to defend the sexual assaulter's actions in order to indirectly defend himself and communicate his own feelings to Heart, thereby trying to guilt trip her and appearing as a selfish and exploiting asshole.

At this point, it made the most sense for Heart to be rid of all these boys who did nothing but make her night miserable, but since this book promises to be full of romance and 'fluff', there is no plausible way to end this book than have Heart finally get together with the 'right' man.

Again, there is nothing wrong with having problematic characters. But there is something wrong with glorifying and rewarding these characters.

In the end, we are unsure which of the two scenarios actually happened, but it does not bother me, as things mostly end up the same no matter what. Prom is over, everyone's happy, people who are supposed to be together finally get together, and lalalala things are A-okay!

Ask Again Later was one of my most anticipated YA books of 2014, but sadly the only thing that seems to be great about it is its marketing. The writing is flimsy and lacks coherence, the style is meh, the story itself is predictable. Overall, it was a light and 'cute' read, but was jampacked with offensive and disgusting characters and situations, that at the very most I can only describe the book as 'tolerable'.

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If you'd like to read our Soupy Sundays discussion on Nice Guys, go here. We'll probably write a discussion post on rape culture soon.

Whew! If you've actually taken the time to read that LONG review, then wow. I'd love to know your thoughts. Let's discuss below! :)